Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book)


  • Klappenbroschur
  • 603
  • Fifty Shades of Grey
  • E.L. James
  • German
  • 23 July 2020
  • 9783442478958

10 thoughts on “Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book)

  1. says: Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book)

    Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book) You know I was beginning to wonder if I needed to change some of my two star books to one star I was thinking that I might not ever personally read a book worthy of one star and I was messing up my scale by giving some of the lame bo

  2. says: E.L. James ñ 4 Read Free read í PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ñ E.L. James Free read Fifty Shades of Grey

    Free read í PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ñ E.L. James Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book) E.L. James ñ 4 Read What in the hell just happened? Did I really read that? Oh my god I did I did read that Meet Anastasia Steele Ana is just a giant mess of a human being She's insecure to the point of it being laughable 'klutzy' even though she only trips twice in the entire book and a complete ditz She's a virgin of course who's never taken any sexual interes

  3. says: Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book)

    Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book) Trigger Warning This review contains strong themes to include rapeBefore I begin what will likely become a very long rantpublic service announcement let me first say a few words I have nothing against EL James Nothing She’s said that this series is a fantasy she managed to put on paper and that she never expected it to gain such

  4. says: Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book)

    Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book) E.L. James ñ 4 Read Free read í PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ñ E.L. James Introducing an even abusive and disturbing TWILIGHT Now with whips and chains Fifty Shades of Shit Haters please exit stage leftI'm not sure what possessed me to pick up Fifty Shades of Grey I thought I might genuinely like it before I started

  5. says: Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book)

    Free read Fifty Shades of Grey Free read í PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ñ E.L. James E.L. James ñ 4 Read In the words of Miss Steele You need to sort your shit out Grey Good day sir Fifty Shades of Grey like Fifty shades of fucked up no

  6. says: Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book) E.L. James ñ 4 Read Free read Fifty Shades of Grey

    Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book) E.L. James ñ 4 Read Free read Fifty Shades of Grey Garbage Absolutely horrifying utter trash A waste of trees bookshelf space and precious oh so very fucking precious braincells Honestly why is this even published? Every single book store in Sydney is promoting this tripe claiming

  7. says: Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book)

    Free read í PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ñ E.L. James Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book) Head's up If any of you fuckers comment at the bottom of this review and say You don't understand BDSM I will hunt you down and make you eat your computer plus the mouse plus the keyboard plus any other internet connected devices in your home including but not limited to iPhones iPods iPads Androids games consoles and ereaders This

  8. says: Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book) Free read Fifty Shades of Grey

    Free read Fifty Shades of Grey Free read í PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ñ E.L. James E.L. James ñ 4 Read 0 stars DNF 55% Review edited February 12 2015“Sex is than an act of pleasure it's the ability to be able to feel so close to a person so connected so comfortable that it's almost breathtaking to the point you feel you ca

  9. says: Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book)

    Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book) I didn’t want to start this book Many people are praising it but I’m simply not into erotica it’s too cheap for me But here I am in the mind of the innocent waiting to be devoured by the big bad wolf Sounds pornographic doesn’t it? That’s because it is Christian Grey A hot dude that melts a woman’s panties off with just one look

  10. says: Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book) Free read í PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ñ E.L. James Free read Fifty Shades of Grey

    Fifty Shades of Grey (E–book) Free read Fifty Shades of Grey Those of you who have had the privilege of reading Fifty Shades of Grey will appreciate the context in which this review was written For those of you who have not read the book well you’ll have to buy a copy to understand the inside joke CONTRACTDated this day 28th day of October 2011 BETWEENPA LUPTON reader and fan Fifty Shades of Grey by E L JamesAndALL FANS OF EROTIC CONTEMPORARY ROMANCEEXPECTATIONSReade

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Fifty Shades of Grey

Free read Fifty Shades of Grey E.L. James ñ 4 Read Free read í PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ñ E.L. James Einem Interview für ihre Uni Zeitung kennen Und möchte ihn eigentlich schnellstmöglich wieder vergessen denn die Begegnung mit ihm hat sie zutiefst verwirrt So sehr sie sich aber darum bemüh. Introducing an even abusive and disturbing TWILIGHT Now with whips and chains Fifty Shades of Shit Haters please exit stage leftI m not sure what possessed me to pick up Fifty Shades of Grey I thought I might genuinely like it before I started but all I was left with was one hell of a mindfuck Whatever it was that brought on this knee jerk purchase seems to have mercifully left me with enough common sense to say I will not be continuing on with this seriesRecently I discovered one of my favorite publishers Random House has picked up Fifty Shades of Grey and made this statementAn orig i nal work and said to us that James had war ranted the books were indeed orig i nal Mes sitte added she was aware of the nar ra tive that 50 SHADES started as dif fer ently titled piece of fic tion but that they were and are two dis tinctly sep a rate pieces of workI m sorry but I m going to have to call bull shit on that Fifty Shades of Grey and Master of the Universe the original fan fic are essentially the same thing The biggest difference being Edward and Bella s name being replaced with Christian and Anastasia respectively And I would know this because I have both and while I was reading I would occasionally switch back and forth between the two without difficulty I d go through and give you examples myself but other people have done it already here and here So if you must read this book do yourself a solid and find the fan fic online You even get the second book tooI know some people claim this has no similarities to Twilight and got dammit I m allergic to all the bull shit Do I really need to point this all out Because it looks pretty obvious to me The mannerisms of the characters are exactly the same They even say similar things the original characters say The whole dazzle line and Edward asking Bella to trust him Her mother being remarried with the same inability to maneuver her way around a kitchen Bella is still trying to save Edward from himself due to his troubled past Edward still stalks and controls Bella only now he gets to hit her when she gets out of linefacepalm Shall I beat them both YesI struggled to come up with a proper review for this book and couldn t figure out why I was feeling rather uninspired to write one And then I figured it out I was left so disgusted by this book that I wanted to purge the memory of its existence from my mind With a rusty nail Every time I thought of the book my brain cells would go on strike yelling obscenities at me Anyway I thought Bella and Edward s relationship couldn t get any fucked up than Twilight I stand corrected If I were to describe FSoG in one sentence it would be this Fifty Shades of Grey is like Twilight on steroids high on ecstasy in a dirty little corner A very dirty corner With badly written sex LotsSexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexohsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexFifty Shades of Grey tells the story of the beautiful but of course she doesn t know it naive virgin Anastasia Steal after she is suckered into interviewing the Greek god Christian Grey Of course sparks fly and for some unknown reason he can t seem to stay away from this incredibly unremarkable girl Ana discovers Christian is into BDSM and desires her as his submissive fuck buddyThere are a myriad of problems with this novel many of which ironically can be found in Twilight Never saw that one coming ChristianEdward is still a controlling bastard only now he hides behind his BDSM practices to camouflage his abusive tendencies However Ana doesn t see it that way She thinks of him as a broken person and it s her duty to fix him Even when he says things like thisI want to hurt you But not beyond anything you couldn t takeCan you believe she let s him beat her after that And please don t even bother to tell me that it s just BDSM No just fucking no Ana is genuinely afraid of Christian and is never entirely comfortable with the punishment aspect of their relationship But Christian just manipulates her with sex to continue the relationship And that s what really gets me I just have a hard time believing a virgin would somehow become a sex goddess overnight because that is exactly what happens When she first is introduced to his kinky lifestyle and tells him she is a virgin he immediately tells her he needs to handle that situation before they could continue What Since when is your virginity a situation But that s not really the kicker Oh no because that is when we are introduced to Ana s two best friends Everyone say hi to SexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexohsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexAnna s inner goddess who always cheers her on when Christian wants sex or wants to punish her She s also uite annoying doing back flips at the mention of anything sexual related Simmer down Where did she come from exactly Ana is in her twenties and has never felt the urge to have sex with anyone until Christian comes along with his whips and chainsAnd Ana s sub conscious who hides behind couches when it comes time for her beating When it comes to Ana having sex with Christian well her sub conscious only has one thing to say So after the situation is handled Ana has to sign a contract agreeing to his sexual demands and also outlining things she won t do It was pretty pointless considering he still got what he wanted and she never signed the damn thing He exploits her stalks her and abuses her She cries after sex She is afraid of him being angry Even when he is angry at something else she thinks it s her Her reasoning for allowing him to hit her as his therapy is because she s afraid to lose him That is not a reason for agreeing to a BDSM lifestyle In fact that s not even really consent These uotes just scream domestic abuse to mePlease don t be angry with me I whisperPlease don t hit me I whisper pleadingHis brow furrows his eyes widening He blinks twiceI don t want you to spank me Not here Not now Please don tYeah he s a real catch that one Barf No excuse me That s not right The barfing came when the little ass wipe PULLED HER TAMPON OUT AND RAMMED HIMSELF INSIDE OF HER OMFG Yes the caps were totally necessary because that was the most disgusting thing I have ever had the misfortune of reading That is not sexy that s foulWhenever Ana thinks about leaving him he comes over to her apartment unannounced pounds into her literally and her inner goddess does a fucking happy dance forgetting her urge to kick his sick ass to the curb They fight they breakup They kiss they sex upSexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexohsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexChristian Do you still want me gone AnaInner goddess growlSub conscious Dance puppet DanceThe writing is a shitty mess too I mean if I had to sit and read Ana saying Holy shit or Holy Fuck or Oh my one time I was going to lose it I wanted to take my red pen and have at this book so badly It was the little things like Ana s roommate saying over and over You never cry Ana and what do we find Ana always doing Crying I m not sure where the hell the plot was smacks forehead How silly of me Didn t I mention this was a Twilight retelling Why was I expecting a plot And another example of poor writing for these characters to be American they sounded very British to me They used phrases that Americans don t useAnd now I m trying to figure out why this book is so popular Why do so many women love this book I get the appeal of the bondage even though it s not my usual cup of tea Whips Chains Sounds excitingSexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexohsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsexsex Abuse Not so muchFuck my life Zero starsEh I m off to read a good book now and possibly to bleach my brainMore reviews at Cuddlebuggery Book Blog

Free read í PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ñ E.L. James

Free read Fifty Shades of Grey E.L. James ñ 4 Read Free read í PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ñ E.L. James T Sie kommt von ihm nicht los Christian führt Ana ein in eine dunkle gefährliche Welt der Liebe – in eine Welt vor der sie zurückschreckt und die sie doch mit unwiderstehlicher Kraft anzieh. I didn t want to start this book Many people are praising it but I m simply not into erotica it s too cheap for me But here I am in the mind of the innocent waiting to be devoured by the big bad wolf Sounds pornographic doesn t it That s because it is Christian Grey A hot dude that melts a woman s panties off with just one look The perfect sex toy set out to conuer an innocent girl Grey the sick fck is considered one of the hottest characters out there but he doesn t get to me His dominance is too much for me to handle and his attitude tends to be annoying and slimy Plus he s just wrong in the head so there s no need to add about this creep Anastasia is an immature insecure desperate idiot who wants to become the whore of Babylon She just wants to listen to her inner goddess wtf and have creepy monkey sex with Grey She has no personality nor will whatsoever she gets excited over the smallest and most idiotic things you can imagine and even though she sees how wrong Grey the sick fck is she still goes for it She s always mooning over Grey like he s some kind of god that she s supposed to worship He tells her that he doesn t want a serious relationship just sex and she s still ok with it Why Just because he s hot He s a damn disgusting pervert He hurt her the first time they made love she was a virgin for Christ s sake and I don t buy the crap with it being perfect surely she had vaginal cracks after that and is treating her like a slave Even though he s a successful businessman and he s rich and famous he still can be a psychopath Just watch American Psycho and you ll know what I m talking aboutNow to pick on one of my biggest problems regarding this book THE CONTRACT WTF may I ask Signing paperwork in order to have sex with him Is he a natural hazard or what I get the whole Hey look at me I m badass I have my own company and helicopter gig cause the guy is stinking rich but the contract Isn t anyone getting angry with this I guess not Why would I do that To please me Wtf All women want to please him Why Cause he s hot He s a perverted asshle that s what he is He s acting like he owns everyone Aren t you guys angry I have rules and I want you to comply with them They are for your benefit and for my pleasure If you follow these rules to my satisfaction I shall reward you If you don t I shall punish you and you will learn Learn this kicks him in the groin Creep It s about gaining your trust and your respect so you ll let me exert my will over you Heh right eye twitches exert my will eye twitches againAren t you guys angry with this yet uestion for all the people who gave this book great scores If Grey wasn t so hot would you still have given it such great ratings I doubt you would So this means that the reason why you love the book is mainly Christian Grey being hot and an uber alpha Shallow much Or maybe you re into all the Christian Grey induced monkey sex and torture Psycho much But who am I to judgeThis book is just a desperate woman s sick fantasy to be treated like a sex slave I m sorry but it doesn t work for me I DNF d this because I find it disgusting and degrading PS I have to mention this because some people are too smart to get it MY REVIEW IS STRICTLY RELATED TO FIFTY SHADES OF GREY AND NOT BDSM IN GENERAL So take a chill pill and GTFO A Compass to Fulfillment Passion and Spirituality in Life and Business t want با کاروان سوخته پابرهنه، لخت، قلبی در آغوش نمایشنامه to start Chile Corn Croissants Delicious Recipes from New Mexico Inns this book Many people are praising it but I m simply not into erotica it s You Can Beat the Odds too cheap for me But here I am in Wings of Riches Dreams of Gold Series #1 the mind of The Modern Jewish Girl's Guide to Guilt the innocent waiting The West Coast Murders Screech Owls #12 to be devoured by Creating Anahola Huna Perspectives on a Sacred Landscape the big bad wolf Sounds pornographic doesn Radio Freuency Identification RFID Technology and Application in Fashion and Textile Supply Chain t it That s because it is Christian Grey A hot dude La saga des Romanov de Pierre le Grand à Nicolas II that melts a woman s panties off with just one look The perfect sex Time Out for Sophie toy set out Sarah's Secrets to conuer an innocent girl Grey Sarah's Secrets the sick fck is considered one of Spirit and Dust Goodnight Family #2 the hottest characters out Texas Gothic there but he doesn An Introduction to Discrete Mathematics Formal System Specification and Z Oxford Applied Mathematics and Computing Science Series to me His dominance is Martin the Warrior too much for me Violences et insécurité Fantasmes et réalités dans le débat français to handle and his attitude By Women Possessed tends The Shawnee to be annoying and slimy Plus he s just wrong in Nous ne sommes plus seuls au monde the head so Carbon Democracy there s no need Zeus the Mighty to add about The Gamester to become The Gamester the whore of Babylon She just wants Natuurlewe Van Suid Afrika n Fotografiese Gids to listen Awakening Shakti: The Transformative Power of the Goddesses of Yoga to her inner goddess wtf and have creepy monkey sex with Grey She has no personality nor will whatsoever she gets excited over Easy Math Step By Step Second Edition things you can imagine and even Not Without a Fight though she sees how wrong Grey Walking with Dinosaurs 3 D Dinosaurs the sick fck is she still goes for it She s always mooning over Grey like he s some kind of god Paul Temple and the Van Dyke Affair that she s supposed Miss Julias Gift Miss Julia #145 to worship He Slocum and the High Rails Heiress Slocum #398 that he doesn We Rise We Resist We Raise Our Voices t want a serious relationship just sex and she s still ok with it Why Just because he s hot He s a damn disgusting pervert He hurt her The Fatal Shore The Epic of Australia's Founding the first The Fatal Shore The Epic of Australia's Founding time Fire Heist they made love she was a virgin for Christ s sake and I don Seedtime t buy The Hidden the crap with it being perfect surely she had vaginal cracks after The Burned Out Old Broads VII The BOOB Girls Book 7 that and is XL Love treating her like a slave Even 262 Marathon Stories though he s a successful businessman and he s rich and famous he still can be a psychopath Just watch American Psycho and you ll know what I m Rough Ready Lightning #3 talking aboutNow Seedtime to pick on one of my biggest problems regarding Japanland A Year in Search of Wa this book THE CONTRACT WTF may I ask Signing paperwork in order Pitch Like a Girl Get Respect Get Noticed Get What You Want to have sex with him Is he a natural hazard or what I get Lasagna Gardening for Small Spaces the whole Hey look at me I m badass I have my own company and helicopter gig cause Rend the guy is stinking rich but The Last Great Walk the contract Isn Cooking for a Crowd Menus Recipes and Strategies for Entertaining 10 to 50 t anyone getting angry with Lets Go Swimming on Doomsday this I guess not Why would I do Happy Halloween Witch's Cat that To please me Wtf All women want Superhero in Disguise Adventures of Lewis and Clarke #05 to please him Why Cause he s hot He s a perverted asshle Penguins Christmas Wish that s what he is He s acting like he owns everyone Aren Draw Your Day t you guys angry I have rules and I want you The Centurion's Empire to comply with Kind of Like Life them They are for your benefit and for my pleasure If you follow Kulay these rules Gut Instinct What Your Stomach is Trying to Tell You to my satisfaction I shall reward you If you don Framework for the Knee t I shall punish you and you will learn Learn Last Stop on the Reindeer Express this kicks him in No Biggy the groin Creep It s about gaining your Tomorrows Garden trust and your respect so you ll let me exert my will over you Heh right eye Handmade Chic twitches exert my will eye Mezzaterra twitches againAren Inkling t you guys angry with Fight Less Love More this yet uestion for all El Libro Esencial de Recetas Mexicanas Para Instant Pot the people who gave You're a Genius And I Can Prove It Unlock Your Natural Ability to Achieve Excellence this book great scores If Grey wasn My Country t so hot would you still have given it such great ratings I doubt you would So All the Way Under this means We Cast a Shadow that Olafs Frozen Adventure Little Golden Book the reason why you love Counterclockwise the book is mainly Christian Grey being hot and an uber alpha Shallow much Or maybe you re into all Counterclockwise the Christian Grey induced monkey sex and Positively American to judgeThis book is just a desperate woman s sick fantasy Anna takes Charge Disney Frozen Anna Elsa #9 to be Pretty Delicious treated like a sex slave I m sorry but it doesn The Big Handout t work for me I DNF d Prevention's Shortcuts to Big Weight Loss Slim Your Belly Buns and Thighs And Get Fit Twice as Fast this because I find it disgusting and degrading PS I have 弟の夫 2 to mention The Big Handout this because some people are The Traded Girl too smart Suite 606 to get it MY REVIEW IS STRICTLY RELATED TO FIFTY SHADES OF GREY AND NOT BDSM IN GENERAL So The History of Cycling in Fifty Bikes take a chill pill and GTFO

Free read Fifty Shades of Grey

Free read Fifty Shades of Grey E.L. James ñ 4 Read Free read í PDF, DOC, TXT or eBook ñ E.L. James Sie ist 21 Literaturstudentin und in der Liebe nicht allzu erfahren Doch dann lernt Ana Steele den reichen und ebenso unverschämt selbstbewussten wie attraktiven Unternehmer Christian Grey bei. What in the hell just happened Did I really read that Oh my god I did I did read that Meet Anastasia Steele Ana is just a giant mess of a human being She s insecure to the point of it being laughable klutzy even though she only trips twice in the entire book and a complete ditz She s a virgin of course who s never taken any sexual interest in anyone before Right I m fairly certain there hasn t been a woman this naive since round about 1954 At one point she thinks putting her hair in pigtails will keep her safe from Christian s lusty advances Fuckin really She flushes constantly and on several occasions referred to her hoo hoo naughty place as down there Next we have Christian Grey Christian is a misogynistic self loathing abusive piece of shit Apparently his only redeeming ualities are in this order his ridiculous good looks his money and his giant penis The only time Ana seems to like him as a person is when he s being lovable and those times are few and far between Most of the time he s serious brooding and threatening How charmingI knew from the very first line this wasn t going to be good I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror It was cemented that early my deep deep dislike for this moronic simpering asshole Your hair won t behave Guess what My suspicions were confirmed a few pages later when Ana admits that any sympathy she feels for her sick friend is unwelcome Unwelcome apparently because her friend is beautiful even when she has the flu What a petty jealous cunt The only thing that made the first 4% of this book tolerable was the fact that I read it aloud to my younger brother and his freuent commentary was amusingly distracting Once he gave up however I had to travel the rest of the road alone What a painful journey it was My first impressions of Ana were bad deservedly so What were my first impressions of Christian Well That s how I felt about Christian Grey From the beginning Any time an author tries to sell me on a character s charm by waxing hormonal about how ridiculously good looking he is I snicker inwardly I can t think why HuhAnyway after reading about the description of Christian s building hello first penis metaphor I had to sit through the awful dialogue between these smarmy idiots and hope beyond hope that something anything would distract me enough to see me through to the end Turns out I found something about 15% through I went back and counted and kept track throughout the rest of the book and do you have any idea how many fucking times Ana said Oh my in this monumentally bad missive Do you I ll tell you 79 79 motherfucking times He pulled me back against his chest oh my He began kissing a trail down my belly oh my He s an insufferable douchenozzle oh my I m just thankful that neither lions tigers nor bears were brought into this mess at any point About halfway through I wished I d been keeping track of the word crap because Ana is constantly sayingthinking it Crap Holy Crap Double and Triple Crap Oh Crap This Crap That Crap any and all Crap Speaking of crap if I ever ever ever have to hearread the words inner goddess again I m going to construct a pyre out of tampons and maxi pads light it and toss unsuspecting women into it My inner goddess will cap yours in the face if you don t shut the fuck up I m sorry I just couldn t take any of this seriously His playroom His playroom Really Or how about his weird ass issues with food He wants the girl slim and in shape yet he won t stop trying to force her to eat I simply love the attempt EL James made at giving these pathetic shells personalities Ana wears Converse drives a vintage car and likes classic British lit Yawn haven t heard any of that before And Christian we know Christian s super deep and sophisticated because he plays the piano and listens to obscure classical music This is how we know Edward Christian is really just a lost soul in need of love his love of music Everyone knows that no one threatening listens to music Music lovers just aren t capable of doing anything bad Surprise Psychos like music too Since this is considered nothing than mommy porn I will attempt to pander to that particular demographic for a moment Were the sex scenes well written Well none of it was particularly well written The sex scenes could be kind ofhonestly they were kind of boring I ve had exciting sex myself so I guess reader response to the sex scenes is dependent on reader experience There s nothing revolutionary here and a lot of it is just plain unrealistic I mean come on he pretty much jackhammers her hymen and she walks away with nothing than a passing pleasant soreness Riiiight How about the time he gives her a handjob with a soapy washcloth Hello Apparently neither one of them has ever heard of a urinary tract infection Oh or we could talk about her first time giving Christian a blowjob during which Ana established herself as some kind of ueen of Deepthroat Anyone wanna hear about the tampon scene Oh you ve already heard about the tampon scene Yeah same here although hearing about it and reading the actual scene are a bit different For some reason you imagine it being worse than it actually is while at the same time reading about it is horrifying than you could possibly imagine He reaches between my legs and pulls on the blue string what Andgently pulls my tampon out and tosses it into the nearby toilet Look I m not against sex during menses but a guy plucking out a girl s tampon Yeah gross I m not a prude but there are certain lines people just shouldn t cross What makes it worse is that Christian is just thrilled that Ana s raggin because he hates using condoms Apparently Mr GinormoDick doesn t know that a woman can get pregnant while on her period Which is hilarious considering all the teaching and training he s doing to remedy Ana s sexual ignorance Sexual dependence thy name is Anastasia Steele We re supposed to believe that this girl has gone 21 years neither having had sex nor masturbating Hm Well Christian s supposed sexual prowess makes a bit sense now as does Ana s assertion that he has a giant bologna wand She has absolutely zero experience and she s never once had anything in there Thing could be the size of a baby carrot and she d still be like Oh my glob How is it ever going to fit It s good that she stockpiled all those potential orgasms though because now she s capable of having like 15 a day or something It s ridiculous Come to think of it Christian s obsession with her eating habits makes a bit sense now She was probably beginning to look like something out of a horror movie Seriously though are we going to take the word of a girl who is apparently so undersexed she s never even masturbated I guess I can sort of understand this obsession with some kind of an awakening butreally Oh he s soooo good in bed How the hell would she know She has absolutely nothing with which to compare not even her own damn hand Now I ll be totally honest the biggest issue I have with Fifty Shades of Shit is neither the sex nor the horrible writing It s the plot Thin as it is it s still there its core message being that given enough time you can change someone While I don t have any problem with this if all you re trying to do is help them to lose weight or uit smoking when you re talking about an emotionally and dangerously close to physically abusive relationship sending that kind of message is ridiculous and irresponsible Christian is controlling possessive condescending and cruel He doesn t allow Ana to behave as she normally would and Ana just puts up with it insistent that if she can give him what he wants when he wants as often as he wants she can eventually begin to pull his strings Will it work In the books probably In real life No Almost never How many misguided women are going to waste their lives on some emotionally retarded prick because they ve read shit like this and think this kind of fucked up fairytale will come true for them I ve known women with this mentality Oh he s so dark and dangerous and threatening but he s got a sad lonely side and if I could just figure out what s wrong I could change him Wake the fuck up He may be hot he may have a huge dick he may even be rich that doesn t make him a good person It doesn t even make him a potentially good person uitBeingAFuckingIdiot Look I can make my words Staccato like Christian Now hold still while I choke you until you pass out Ana and Christian I said don t roll your eyes at meChristian stalks Ana which she turns into a fucking joke and whispers things to her threateningly She s constantly afraid he s going to beat the crap out of her and with good reason as he on than one occasion tells her he s going towants toPotential rape is downplayed Ana s friend Jake Jose starts pushing himself on her rather vehemently when they re both drunk Ana repeatedly says no but Jose just keeps trying to go in for the kill Admiral Chaps busts on up with his riding crop however and saves her Ana understandably avoids Jose for a while after that and when her other friend asks her why all Ana says is He made a pass at me Later on she and Jose are friends again the attempted kiss forgotten SighRapists appear to be a theme Christian tells Ana that he gets off on having complete and total control over another person This is not just in the bedroom but in Ana s overall life On several occasions he fails to yield when Ana says no plunging on regardless assured she ll like whatever he does anyway so why bother stopping And there are women out there who think this is romantic I wish you the best of luck ladies Just keep in mind that while you re fantasizing about abusive misogynistic assholes like Grey there are a lot of women dealing with the horrors of actually living with men like him For all you ladies bustin out your toys while daydreaming about Hunky Mr Grey I want you to do something for me It ll only take a moment Close your eyes Think about all the things Christian Grey does in the book Not just those supposed sweet things but really everything His condescension his control his insane jealousy his threatsand nowimagine he looks like this Still turned on The end of the book was absolutely hilarious with Ana fleeing in emotional tumult because Christian can t give her what she needs love sniff And we re treated to her alternately being angry about the pain and humiliation she faced at Christian s hands and chastising herself for being a failure and for being mean to Christian It really is classic abuse mentality Yet I see her being touted by some as strong and independent It s this kind of ignorant trash that sets feminism back decades Women who defend this book are however unwittingly participating in some of the most blatant misogyny I ve ever witnessed giving the impression that some women enjoy being debased abused and controlled outside of a consensual Domsub relationship This is not a book about BDSM this is a book about one sick abusive man and his obsession with a young naive invertebrate It s a book about a girl who has absolutely no sense of self who sacrifices any pretense of individuality in order to hold onto a man who doesn t even show her the faintest glimmer of respect It s about two attention starved individuals with the emotional maturity of toilet paper convincing themselves that their relationship is like the best thing ever OMG It s trite insulting and dangerous I fear for any impressionable young women who read this and think that this is how an ideal relationship should operate If nothing else it should be issued as a guidebook to mothers around the world to show their daughters the kind of man to avoid at all costs This book does good men and indeed all of humanity a disservice SighA bestseller They re thinking of turning it into a movieI can t Word Count Oh My 79Crap 101Jeez 82Holy shitfuckcraphellcowmoses 172Whoa 13Gasp 34Gasps 11Sharp Intake of Breath 4Murmur 68Murmurs 139Whisper 96Whispers 103Mutter 28Mutters 23Fifty 16Lip 71Inner goddess 58Subconscious 82Click here for my review of Fifty Shades Darker Fifty Shades 2